a call to something higher

"Opportunity is missed by people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
-thomas edison

And how true is this? Answer-so true.
This is something I've been realizing a lot lately. God is convicting me of how I spent my time, where it all goes, to what or who it all goes. I think it's hard to understand what it means to work hard for something, because we only see the moment it happens. When I read blogs, or scroll pinterest, I am only seeing the end product of a long days (or months, etc) work. I think it's safe to say that the internet romanticizes real life. I sit here pulling my hair out (literally..), wondering what am I doing wrong? Why isn't my life so beautiful, so organized, so hipster (I am repulsed even typing that, but it's true)?

I look at my pinterest boards, and am consistently discouraged. Because my life doesn't, and won't ever look like that. But I think we are called to better things than that. I think we are called to a life that is more than just aesthetically beautiful, that is more than just vintage or mismatched or pretty.
I digress.

I want to work hard. I want to accomplish, to feel accomplished. I want to look at my life and think, how b e a u t i f u l is this? I want to be proud, I want that more than anything.
The worst part is, it's entirely in my control. This, this idea, executed, depends on me deciding, and choosing to work hard. Which means change, which means discomfort. Which doesn't make much sense. But it does, to me anyways. To stop being lazy, and to start working hard, would mean a few things.
1. Cut back/give up Netflix entirely (and hulu, and stupid "entertaining" brainless shows)
2. To build new habits, like exercise and journaling and smiling more often
3. To actually do 1&2
4. Probably Give up most internet stuff, like pinterest/blog scrolling/window shopping
5. Stop sleeping in.

I don't even know if I'm capable of these things. I don't even know if I've ever done anything hard before (well, not true, because I have some things to show for myself).

I know God wants more for my life. I know God demands more of my life. I know these things. And I know that only by the grace and strength of God will I ever be able to change and be different, be better.

Overall this post is personal. These are the things I am always thinking about (among many many others), and this is what I want. So spring break will be the beginning. And My life will be changed, because right now, I am deciding that my life is worth more than this. I am deciding to acknowledge God's purpose for my life, which is not to sit around watching HIMYM, or living other lives via pleasant and pretty things.

Things have to change.

2, possibly 3 quizzes.
2 papers.
home free.

-kellyn

ps: I am indescribably proud of the photo featured in this post.
ps: how might you go on changing your life, down to the gritty lazy parts? please share with me?