los angeles

I've been in LA for a little over a week. It's everything and nothing like I expected.

And it's hard to describe but I feel like I've grown, even in a week. Like a slow stretching growth that you don't notice immediately. But I feel it and it's strange. 

Before I left I was a mess. Sad or in tears all the time, dreading the thought of leaving camp and friends and home. Home- what a concept. One of my favorite songs has the lyric "you're already home where you feel loved" and I've never found a statement more true. I think more than anything home is people who are able to make you feel loved- whether that's in a car zipping down the highway, or in a bed beneath a clear, smogless sky. 

Los Angeles is different, obviously. It's a city, a big big city, but not like Boston (or Chicago, from what I briefly experienced this year). It's not a tall city, but it sounds like a city. Sirens and cars and neon signs and coffee shops (The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is becoming my new favorite). It's weird to be able to walk everywhere- to the grocery store, to the mall, to any kind of food, to school. I love it. Thinking about Gordon in all it's small town suburbia goodness makes me sad and bored. But don't worry, I won't dwell on that. 

Above all, God's peace is exceeding my understanding each day I'm here- I keep having these moments where I'll say "ok, so I should be feeling anxiety right about now..." and it never comes. And while I believe in a "healthy" amount of stress (to keep me on my toes and not procrastinating), this is such an answered prayer, beyond anything I knew to ask for. 

We've just barely begun this semester and it already feels like I've been here for months. 

I would trade all the In-n-Out in the world for a good cold rainy day. Or maybe just anything below 80 degrees. :)