I feel like I've been holding my breath all semester. Waiting for the end, but not willing to admit that I wanted it to happen, and also not believing it would ever come.
This semester has been so much. In all ways. In a real brief conversation with my mom, I was complaining of how exhausted I felt, nearing the end. Her response was "Well, you came into it exhausted, too"
Which is true, in all senses of the word exhaustion. I was physically drained, having spent the whole sumer at camp. For the same reasons, I was emotionally drained. My summer was incredible, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything, but it was a storm. Every night I went to bed terrified of leaving, embarking on this new journey to Los Angeles. Every spare moment that I wasn't focused on my job, I was focused on some facet of my upcoming semester, trying to purchase books, complete assignments, mail paperwork.
So yes, I did some into my semester exhausted. Which makes me all the more proud of myself that I was able to maintain so much energy throughout, until now. And now we have reached the end.
I legitimately cannot believe that in 11 days I will be flying home. I remember when I got here, I was too discouraged by the number of days until home that I didn't even bother counting them. And now I can see the end. I can look at the weather forecast with some accuracy for the day I will be flying home. It's surreal.
I know I'm different because of this semester. In ways that I don't even know yet. But I feel like who I was when I got here is not who I am. When I got here I was so afraid of everything in life, of everything that this semester had to offer. Now, I don't think I am as much.
I'm ready. Every day that I get closer to leaving, the more ready I am to leave. I'm thankful for that.
This semester has been so much. In all ways. In a real brief conversation with my mom, I was complaining of how exhausted I felt, nearing the end. Her response was "Well, you came into it exhausted, too"
Which is true, in all senses of the word exhaustion. I was physically drained, having spent the whole sumer at camp. For the same reasons, I was emotionally drained. My summer was incredible, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything, but it was a storm. Every night I went to bed terrified of leaving, embarking on this new journey to Los Angeles. Every spare moment that I wasn't focused on my job, I was focused on some facet of my upcoming semester, trying to purchase books, complete assignments, mail paperwork.
So yes, I did some into my semester exhausted. Which makes me all the more proud of myself that I was able to maintain so much energy throughout, until now. And now we have reached the end.
I legitimately cannot believe that in 11 days I will be flying home. I remember when I got here, I was too discouraged by the number of days until home that I didn't even bother counting them. And now I can see the end. I can look at the weather forecast with some accuracy for the day I will be flying home. It's surreal.
I know I'm different because of this semester. In ways that I don't even know yet. But I feel like who I was when I got here is not who I am. When I got here I was so afraid of everything in life, of everything that this semester had to offer. Now, I don't think I am as much.
I'm ready. Every day that I get closer to leaving, the more ready I am to leave. I'm thankful for that.
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